Why to a trauma or any circumstances adverse people are able to cope successfully while others sink into their negative emotions? Once we have all known people who seem to steel, in the sense of being able to deal with everything that happens to them. Perhaps, if you reflect and take back, that person can be yourself, in that difficult occasion that you don't know how, but finally you approach it much better of what they could expect. What lurks behind the explanation of this phenomenon is the resilience, increasingly fashionable not only in scientific research but also in popular language.
Personality factors, learning and even biological are involved in the development of the residence of every one of us. Let's see in detail what and how it develops.
What is resilience?
We can define resilience as a phenomenon or process that reflects a relative adaptation positive despite the contexts of risk, significant adversity or trauma. There is some contention as to the moment at which we can assess whether a person is or not resilient. Some authors consider that the fact of having an adequate capacity to recover the threatening event would be sufficient to consider that a person is resilient, while others believe that besides that recovery must also be personal growth. An example of the latter would be the increase in self-confidence and the personal fortress, reassess the life, people, events that surround us..., try to be better individuals.
This is why that, currently, there are two opinions about the concept of resilience; those who consider it as a process and define it as a result:
• The first studies exploring the relationship between risk factors and outcomes (positive or negative) and the mediation of other variables at the time of dealing with adversity. These factors are called guards for its ability to dampen or eliminate the effect of adversity. An example of this is optimism.
• For its part, studies that consider the resilience as a result looking for subjects which, after suffering a trauma, continue to show behaviors and emotions that show good results. These studies have enabled the development of treatment programs aimed at enhancing the strengths in different specific domains, such as the cognitive and the emotional.
Finally, many authors insist on differentiating the resilience of the resistant personality and hardiness. This concept comes from research with adults and shares with resilience, good adaptation to trauma, but explaining it in this case only depending on the characteristics of personality.
Profile of the person resilient
Taking into account what you have read so far it is possible that you come to mind people in your environment that are resilient or an ideal about how to be. Resilient people have the following profile:
• Are people positive and with a sense of humor.
• Like to enjoy human relations; they are sociable, be easily coexist with them, are assertive when it comes to communicating, etc.
• To present an adequate control of impulses and emotions in general.
• In the face of adversity have a Locus of Internal Control, i.e., think that there is a high ratio between his behavior and the consequences of them. Likewise, consider that in the face of adversity have resources to solve the problem or control his emotion ("what happened to me is controllable by me or I can control how does it affect me").
• They have a high capacity for self-motivation.
• Have an adequate level of self-esteem and are perceived as competent, so you rely on themselves.
• People with resilience are flexible in their thoughts.
• Their behavior tends to altruism; they like to do things for others, being important for them that sit well with those who surround them.
Key to the development of resilience
• Away from what many people think, with resilience "not be born", but that "makes". Several studies highlight the importance of the environment in which individuals resilient have been developed: they had little age upon the occurrence of some traumatic event, their families had competent father figures, and had proper social relationships that provide a good supply of social support.
• These studies indicate that three previous factors, the most important at the time develop appropriate levels of resilience is the fact of having relations, within and outside the family, ensuring an adequate support and gathering the most important of all. The role of these social relations is the create support and confidence for the development and maintenance of resilience.
• The role of parents and adults who surround the child is another give them key in facilitating the development of the resilience of this. At the family level, it is essential that family will facilitate the development of appropriate levels of self-esteem, and since small help children accept the negative emotions arising from adverse circumstances (e.g. "it is normal to be angry when..., but I'm sure that you'll know how to fix it, you're a guy ready".
• In regards to the field of education, the attitude of the teachers and the school environment will be essential for the development of the resilience of the child. The creation of an open space that will enhance competencies of each small, where allowed to enhance what given well, presenting practical challenges for it is required to do so. This space should seek to educate from reinforcement and not punishment.
• Finally, albeit at a level more distal, social behaviour and the way in which the young is integrated into their social framework will be equally important so that the child may develop appropriate levels of resilience. That is why society should promote, facilitate and reward the prosocial behaviors. Family can in turn facilitate this fact offering opportunities to his son to carry out a prosocial behavior (e.g. offering membership of an NGO).
How to become more resilient
Here are a few simple tips to get be more resilient in your day to day and know how to best face the difficulties that may arise in your life:
• Attempts to adverse events the just importance: for this you not magnifiques problems and eliminates catastrophic thoughts in your head. Aside from worried phrases like "And if...", and focus on what is happening here and now.
• Know yourself who decides on your own life and your emotions: tries to make decisions in a rational way aside from impulsiveness. When things have gone wrong not tortures you with the 'why' and focus on the 'how to overcome it or solve it' in cases in which this can be.
• Do not be ashamed of feeling negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, sadness or anger. Suffer adverse situations is synonymous with mental health.
• You're your most important ally: you must trust you and your achievements for minefield on the occasions where you are going wrong.
• Builds throughout your life a proper network of people (family, friends, etc.) that make you feel loved and safe. Positive social relationships play a role of social support that dampens the effect of negative emotions and strengthen your resilience.
• Get involved in the problems of other people; help them and you focus not only on yourself. Help you to relativize the reality, to create social bonds and to feel good.