Concept and meaning of Sexual abuse
What is sexual abuse?It is all action of a sexual nature imposed on a child by an adult or one older person. Some of its forms are: manipulation of minors for pornographic purposes, subjecting it to observe sexual attitudes, talking about obscene topics, show or touching genitals and sexual penetration (rape or incest.). Sexual abuse is not necessarily a violation.
Is sexual abuse, generally, committed by strangers?Sexual abuse can be committed by a stranger, who through force or terror, subjected the child to the Act abusive, usually in the form of a violation. However, statistics show that in the majority of cases the abuser usually someone known to the family, who not only has earned the trust of parents or carers, but of the child.
Can sexual abuse be committed by a family member?Sexual abuse can be committed by a member of the family (dad, MOM, grandparents, cousins, etc.), with who the victim feels a deep emotional commitment and loyalty. The abuser is usually manipulating and blackmailing the victim with the purpose that this does not reveal the abuse, by convincing it that if you speak it will unleash a family crisis.
What happens when the abuser is a known person?It is very important to bear in mind that when the abuser is a well-known adult, abuse is not an isolated episode, but a process that unfolds over time. Initially the abuser manipulates the confidence that the child has him and through the seduction (gifts, awards, preferences, etc.), incites it to participate in sexual activities that the abuser shows the child to like games or behaviors that occur usually between an adult and a child. In parallel, the abuser imposes on the child the law of silence through threats and blackmail of the type "If your accounts to your MOM, she will die of grief" or "If anyone knows me I will be imprisoned and you you will go to an orphanage". Thus, guarantees that child will keep the secret.
In addition, used with child a denigratorio discourse to disqualify him / and blame it / of what is happening.
In this reality, child trapped in a relational system very confusing and contradictory ("te quiero, but abuse of you"), and is incorporating their self-concept negative connotations transmitting by the abuser. The child begins to suffer a strong stigma, feels dirty, bad, guilty, helpless and with a tremendous lack of control. All this hinders the child to disclose what is happening.
Can a child inventing an abuse?Do not. Children, when they describe an abuse handled information that by its development could not know otherwise. In such cases, the child has undergone the observation of erotic content or has been a victim of abuse. On the other hand, children can get to invent something to avoid a problem (e.g., lie because I took me a bad note), but don't lie to win a problem or punishment.
If we deny the abuse not only we cause a feeling of unprotection in child, but we facilitate the actions of abusers. Thinking that children lie, that abuse is rare, that only girls suffer, that the abusers are crazy or dangerous appearance, or that it does not occur within the family, are myths which only prevent that we face a painful and traumatic reality which, despite not being easy to deal with, is very necessary for the protection of our children.
How can I protect my child from abuse?The best way is preventing them. It is essential to maintain a close with them relationship so if something happens to them, they have the confidence to tell us. It is also important to teach self-protection as they grow.
From the three years we can help them to know the parts of your body. So as we have arms or legs, we also penis or vagina. We must not focus the conversation on the genitals, but that frame it in the overall knowledge of the body.
We can also teach them that there are private areas in the body, that we not show because they are special and intimate, and explain to them that no one can force them to play them his private parts even an uncle, cousin or brother. It is important to convey to them that nobody can force them to keep a secret and they must always have the confidence to go to their parents if something happens to them. Explain to them, but do not require them, they say NO against caresses that don't like or makes them feel uncomfortable or rare. By difference of size, strength and age, for a child, it is practically impossible to an adult face and say NO. Why we should not require them, longer than if not achieved can feel very guilty.
It is important to self-defense enmarquemos it in a positive and broader than sexuality vision and not focus on how to defend ourselves of a possible sexual assault, because we run the risk of showing a negative and dangerous vision of the world that surrounds them to our children
How do suspect a child is being abused?We must be attentive to changes in the behavior of children such as aggressiveness, inhibition or extreme sensitivity, mistrust, sleeping problems, low school performance, disinterest, or unexplained rejection front, studies, unusual bad behaviour in classes, fear of adults, etc.
Another indicator is the emergence of sexual behaviors that bear no relation to the child's age or when this handles information that do not may have learned by itself only. It should pay attention to the games, for example if they perform sexual acts between dolls and drawings that perform at home or in the garden. Behaviors of compulsive masturbation that interfere may also arise with their activities.
Abused children are exposed to a reality that can not integrate, which leads them to reflect the experiences that are happening to them in comments or behaviors.