Shyness, keys to overcome it
Trying to go unnoticed or do you notice? It costs you to express your opinions or you have a passive when it comes to mingle with others communication style? We help you take off the mask of shyness.
In this sense, there is no doubt that as part of our character, shyness is a trait that children may present from early stages of his childhood. However, how to act environment before the manifestations of shyness of a person, as well as the subsequent learning, may modulate said trait even to reduce it to its minimum expression. So for example, if a shy person gets punishment by their environment - make it less case, not listen to their opinion, if it is a child tell you if it is hidden behind her mother, etcetera - and reinforcements when it carried out a lacking social conduct of shy traits - people listen to him, laugh with him, if it is a boy his parents refer to their pleasant nature, etc-, will be very likely that the trait of shyness ends up reducing to lowest terms. On the other hand, if a person who does not have this feature initially get unpleasant consequences whenever it is sociable, outgoing, etc., can end up showing a timid behavior by learning.
So it seems to be that the learned (our experiences) has much to say on whether will be or not some shy people. Even for those who claim that parents shy shy children are born, more behaviorist theories based on learning allude to the vicarious learning (or observation) to explain this fact. According to these theories, the parents would act as models that children observe and imitate, confirming the well-known saying "of such suit, like son".
We can define a profile with the main features of shy people. These are:
· They show a tendency toward introversion (usually enclosed in themselves).
· Find it hard to express their feelings.
· They show high levels of anxiety in social situations, so if you can avoid them or support them with much discomfort.
· They prefer to go unnoticed, since I don't like being the center of attention.
· They tend to blush easily.
· They do not openly express his opinion so, some shy people act in a manner agresivo-pasivo (face in the back).
· They are often aware of the "say what".
· Don't like to feel observed, since usually feel judged.
If you want to know if your profile looks like with these qualities make our shyness test to check your emotional level in this regard.
· Excessive need for approval: need to be approved by all who surround him to feel comfortable.
· Emotional dependency of those people that feel good.
· Poor tolerance to criticism. They are very susceptible to them, making it hard criticism helps them to grow.
· Tendency to solitude; they feel lonely and in some cases actually are.
· Low self-esteem: feeling that no one listens to them.
· Close relationship with negative emotions such as sadness, depression, anxiety, shame, guilt, etc.
· They have difficulty finding a partner, since they are uncomfortable in intimate situations with people that are attractive to them.
Afterwards, will be analysed variables that keep that person in the situation that is, and in what specific contexts his shyness becomes especially complicated or prevents him from develop normally.
Shyness treatment will consist of training to the patient in the acquisition of specific strategies that will enable it to cope with such situations, and facilitate you the self-control of emotional malaise that suffers, through cognitive techniques such as detection of irrational ideas, or techniques such as social skills training.
Often the treatment is completed with relaxation techniques to help the patient control activation that may cause shyness sometimes thus controlling some of its manifestations, such as blushing, whenever possible.
· Remember that only you know what you're thinking: If you feel bad by your shame or discomfort in a social situation, remember that only you know what you're feeling or thinking, so that leaves a good conduct speak for you.
· Check out the ball on the outside roof: If in a social situation really you are going so badly, let it know to the other person, so in part it can also assume responsibility that that situation is pleasant for both.
· If you blush you do not give you too much importance, because you yourself can be magnifying this reaction watching you both.
· Laugh at your own mistakes rather than shame on you for them. Tries to always show a smile, cares that your tone of voice is not low, emphasizes when you speak, make gestures that support your verbal communication, etc., in the most natural way possible and without obsessing over you. All this will make you to feel safer when it comes to interact with others.
· If there are situations in which your shyness makes it very difficult to expose yourself to them gradually and progressively.
Shyness, how to overcome it
Shyness is a relatively stable trend showing some people toward social inhibition. This trend translates behaviors to go unnoticed or not be noticed, not to express opinions, as well as a style of communication that is passive when it comes to interact with other people. While shyness is a personality trait, and is easier to change an attitude to be overcome shyness is possible, and we're going to give the guidelines so that you get it.We are born shy or we become timid?
There is much controversy about whether the traits of personality, such as shyness, accompany us since we are born or, on the contrary, we acquired them throughout our lives. Apparently, to explain the timidity, as well as other personality traits, there to attend a model of interaction between the genetic part (from birth) and the acquired part (the experience).In this sense, there is no doubt that as part of our character, shyness is a trait that children may present from early stages of his childhood. However, how to act environment before the manifestations of shyness of a person, as well as the subsequent learning, may modulate said trait even to reduce it to its minimum expression. So for example, if a shy person gets punishment by their environment - make it less case, not listen to their opinion, if it is a child tell you if it is hidden behind her mother, etcetera - and reinforcements when it carried out a lacking social conduct of shy traits - people listen to him, laugh with him, if it is a boy his parents refer to their pleasant nature, etc-, will be very likely that the trait of shyness ends up reducing to lowest terms. On the other hand, if a person who does not have this feature initially get unpleasant consequences whenever it is sociable, outgoing, etc., can end up showing a timid behavior by learning.
So it seems to be that the learned (our experiences) has much to say on whether will be or not some shy people. Even for those who claim that parents shy shy children are born, more behaviorist theories based on learning allude to the vicarious learning (or observation) to explain this fact. According to these theories, the parents would act as models that children observe and imitate, confirming the well-known saying "of such suit, like son".
Characteristics of a shy person
The shy person is especially characterized by social inhibition and the desire to go unnoticed. The big difference between the shy people and those who have the disorder called social phobia is that to the latter they would love not inhibited to relate satisfactorily at the social level. However, the timid do not have why want to necessarily relate with other people. In any case, there is a great relationship between social phobia and shyness.We can define a profile with the main features of shy people. These are:
· They show a tendency toward introversion (usually enclosed in themselves).
· Find it hard to express their feelings.
· They show high levels of anxiety in social situations, so if you can avoid them or support them with much discomfort.
· They prefer to go unnoticed, since I don't like being the center of attention.
· They tend to blush easily.
· They do not openly express his opinion so, some shy people act in a manner agresivo-pasivo (face in the back).
· They are often aware of the "say what".
· Don't like to feel observed, since usually feel judged.
If you want to know if your profile looks like with these qualities make our shyness test to check your emotional level in this regard.
Consequences of shyness and therapy to overcome it
Consequences of shyness
Shyness has more drawbacks than advantages. The problems and consequences that can cause be shy include:· Excessive need for approval: need to be approved by all who surround him to feel comfortable.
· Emotional dependency of those people that feel good.
· Poor tolerance to criticism. They are very susceptible to them, making it hard criticism helps them to grow.
· Tendency to solitude; they feel lonely and in some cases actually are.
· Low self-esteem: feeling that no one listens to them.
· Close relationship with negative emotions such as sadness, depression, anxiety, shame, guilt, etc.
· They have difficulty finding a partner, since they are uncomfortable in intimate situations with people that are attractive to them.
How to overcome shyness
In cases in which shyness may have important negative consequences and excessively interfering in the life of the person concerned, it may be necessary to get specialized help. Psychological therapy to overcome shyness begins with a prior assessment of the subject, which aims to determine what are the possible causes of her shyness.Afterwards, will be analysed variables that keep that person in the situation that is, and in what specific contexts his shyness becomes especially complicated or prevents him from develop normally.
Shyness treatment will consist of training to the patient in the acquisition of specific strategies that will enable it to cope with such situations, and facilitate you the self-control of emotional malaise that suffers, through cognitive techniques such as detection of irrational ideas, or techniques such as social skills training.
Often the treatment is completed with relaxation techniques to help the patient control activation that may cause shyness sometimes thus controlling some of its manifestations, such as blushing, whenever possible.
Tricks that shyness does not cause you problems
If you're shy, we want to give you some good news: you can learn to cease to be, or at least that you notice you less. We offer you a few tricks so you get it and you don't cause problems:· Remember that only you know what you're thinking: If you feel bad by your shame or discomfort in a social situation, remember that only you know what you're feeling or thinking, so that leaves a good conduct speak for you.
· Check out the ball on the outside roof: If in a social situation really you are going so badly, let it know to the other person, so in part it can also assume responsibility that that situation is pleasant for both.
· If you blush you do not give you too much importance, because you yourself can be magnifying this reaction watching you both.
· Laugh at your own mistakes rather than shame on you for them. Tries to always show a smile, cares that your tone of voice is not low, emphasizes when you speak, make gestures that support your verbal communication, etc., in the most natural way possible and without obsessing over you. All this will make you to feel safer when it comes to interact with others.
· If there are situations in which your shyness makes it very difficult to expose yourself to them gradually and progressively.
Article contributed for educational purposes