Talk about sex with childrenParents are responsible for getting their children to acquire proper sex education through a gradual process that begins in the first years of life and goes through adolescence. Throughout this process, it is important that parents and teachers respect the maturity and the evolutionary State of minors (for example, not can explain in the same way where they come babies to a four year old child to one of seven, regardless of what we want to convey is the same).
This process should not limited to occasional serious conversations when parents consider that you now is the moment in which that conversation should take place. On the contrary, a good sexual education is based on a proper attitude to life which allows minors to ask questions about sex when the doubts arise them since it is at that moment when the child or adolescent is really motivated to pay attention to the response of the parents.
Tips to parents to discuss sex with their childrenQuestions and sexual expressions of children also generate doubts, insecurities and feelings in parents. It is important that parents are aware of these feelings to be able to control and manage them in the most appropriate way, in such a way that they do not negatively influence the education of their children. This is important because sex education lies not only in what parents say the children, but also in which callan.
At the same time, it is convenient that parents be aware of frequent concerns about sex according to the age that children have. This will allow them to give an explanation properly and adapted to their level of understanding.
Some parents who are uncomfortable before the questions sex of their children, Castle in attitudes which express with phrases as "with Internet already know everything", "already explained it is at school", "me no one told me about sex, and I learned it only", to avoid conversations that them can be embarrassing. This attitude is completely wrong, since that the family should act as a filter of the large number of sexual information that reaches them to minors, graduating it and adjusting it to family values. Academic institutions are only contributors to homework parents discuss sex with children, since sex education by the family must not be delegated in third.
Some of the tips that parents must follow when it comes to talk about sex with their children are:
- Learn about sexual concerns that children will have along their evolutionary process.
- Take care when communicating with each child individual differences (gender, age, personality...).
- Consider both questions your children ask, and their behaviors of sexual curiosity and exploration.
- Before responding to your questions, inquire about what they know about the topic.
- Be honest with them and talk naturally, openly and without prejudice.
- Respond when the questions by the child, and not when it comes to parents well, and if at that time you can not explain why, tell you when they will resume the conversation.
How to talk about sex with childrenFrom the earliest childhood children will have questions or curiosity about sex. Information that must transmit the parents in any case should be restricted to sexuales-biologicos terms (for example referring to the reproductive system), they must contain, in addition, information on emotional, relational aspects, etc. But, what questions will face parents depending on the age of your children and how you can resolve them?
Children from 0 to 2 yearsObviously, the child won't ask questions at this age, so more important what they say parents will be what they do before sexual manifestations of the small. The baby discovers sexual pleasure from body contact with people who care for him, especially with the person who performs the maternal function (which does not always have to be the mother). Behaviors that produce pleasure to the child are suction and touch, it is therefore important that parents allow that small meet these desires from objects suitable for this (having no danger if carried to the mouth or touch), and that while mama or taking the bottle look you mother, you cherish, talk... At the end of the 2 years they get pleasure from the control of sphincters and games related to this milestone. Parents should facilitate these games without worrying that they get wet or dirty, and let them talk about their pis and their poop, besides accompanying the control of these physiological functions with phrases like "very well, my child already knows, ask MOM to take him to pee".
Children 3-5 years: first questions about sexThis little charlatan and researcher who confuses reality with fantasy has two major sexual concerns: the difference between sexes and the origin of life. It is the stage of the why, which must be fulfilled by the parents. It is important that when we communicate us with children of this age we call things by name (e.g. instead of tail penis or vulva rather than stick).
We can also help foil adapted to their age to meet the curiosity of children, which should never be repressed, because this will generate them shame and modesty.
Between 6 and 9 years old: naturalize sexAt this age, the questions are more elaborate. The most common is how sperm and egg meet. In this case, the parents must respond clearly what is sexual intercourse, without forgetting the affections between members of the couple. The explanation must be simple, for example: the testicles are a factory of sperm travelling through tubes...
If you do not ask him, at this age still don't need talk about contraception. And if the child has not yet spoken of sex, parents should look for everyday opportunities to remove the topic naturally.
How to talk about sex at pubertyBetween 10-12 years and the following years of puberty sex questions diminish because it gives teens more shame ask parents, but that doesn't mean that it is reduced interest in sex that, on the contrary, has actually resurfaced again due to physiological changes experienced at that age.
A key aspect and that he often worries parents at this age has to do with masturbation, that now it is not exploratory as in previous stages, but it is used for the pursuit of pleasure. Due to this fact that parents must respect the privacy of the pubescent and, if they have to talk to his son for having discovered masturbating, must be natural and normalize the situation. They can tell you, for example, "it is normal and should simply be a private activity, so another time close the door or do it in the bathroom."
At this age, parents must provide information that might be missing sex in full including diseases sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and contraceptive methods (for example, if we are talking about sexual protection methods you can open a condom and teach it).
It is important that at this stage, children have sufficient knowledge about the size of the penis, ejaculations, erections, vaginal discharge, menstruation, etc. And it is also desirable that parents treat aspects as sexual abuse.
Your attitude to the questions sex of your child throughout the previous stages largely determine how behave this since puberty, leaving you out of your sex life, or asking your future doubts and resorting to you whenever you need. To talk about sex with your kids, do not hesitate, it is important to know how to communicate it.