Low self-esteem? Learn how to improve it
We can define self-esteem
as the assessment we make of ourselves from experiences and feelings
that we experience throughout life. The expectations we have of ourselves and self-concept, this fundamental aspect to succeed in what we rely heavily on it.
The development of self-esteem
No one is born with a certain level of self-esteem. Self-esteem is developing throughout our existence. This involved several factors which could be classified into two major groups:
• Environmental or experiential factors (the context): events, anecdotes, circumstances, etc. that we live our life are some of the main components which have a determining influence on our level of self-esteem, doing this is high or low. This group also includes the way we solve problems and the results thereof, that will make us feel more or less competent people in the face of adversity. Also within this group of factors include people who surround us. The people who form part of our lives, its way of treating us, the messages that give us... can do that we learn to see ourselves in a certain way. Example of this is when many times we realize be repeating us the same messages that our parents or teachers gave us or our friends or our partners give us today. In many cases, they are the voice of our self-esteem.
• Cognitive factors (mind): so important is what happens to us in life as the interpretation we give to what happened. In this sense, the explanation we give to our successes and failures will affect significantly our self-esteem. All of this has to do with the realm of the powers. For example, it is not the same believe that we have passed a test by luck, who believe that we have achieved through our efforts. At the same time, the way of seeing the world will greatly influence how we feel and this sentiment will affect our self-esteem levels turn. For example, there are people who already believe that everything they do wrong before a minimum error leaving their self-esteem to very low levels.
These elements give rise therefore to our self-esteem, which is composed in turn of different parties, have no reason to be interrelated, and that they have to do with "what is a person": intellectual, physical, social, family and professional self-esteem, etc. These components have to do with how we see ourselves in different areas of our lives.
I have a low self-esteem?
There are several factors that can cause us to have low self-esteem. Detect them is the first step to affect us as little as possible. Some of these factors are:
• People who wants us badly: is true that "no live" the opinion of others, but the truth is that we all like to feel loved and honored. However, there are people who surround themselves with true self-esteem thieves who are constantly making them reproaches, debasement and critical destructiv
• Trend comparisons: there are people who do not cease to compare to other envying what are these and not thinking about what they can do in a constructive manner to look like them. This fact makes their self-esteem to lower a significantly generating significant levels of frustration.
• Avoid challenges: is better to try and fail than not try. Some people avoid all circumstances which do not have "all the win". This fact makes to their self-confidence not develop as well as make them believe that always need beside someone stronger than them to overcome the difficulties.
• Destructive criticism: being surrounded by people who does not help us to grow makes us feel bad and worse our self-esteem. It is important to reject and not attend to destructive criticism (those that we do not provide, but only make us feel bad), and Yes respond to constructive criticism (those that, for some that I like, tell me what have I done wrong supposedly, helping me to improve). Be clear that you can teach people to treat you in a certain way.
Characteristics of a person with low self-esteem
People with low self-esteem tend to express a series of behaviors in which is reflected the low valuation of themselves. But,
as in many fields of Psychology here we can not generalize, the truth
is that some behaviors as those who follow are very common in people
with low self-esteem:
• People with low self-esteem tend to be constantly looking for opinions of others showing a lack of confidence in personal decision-making.
• Need for someone that they consider stronger to face the difficulties of his life, which increases the risk of dependence of such persons.
• They are afraid to confront new challenges (e.g. new works, leave a partner that are not well...), suspicious of the ability to address them while even experience tell you otherwise.
• Low self-esteem affects more his physicist who tend to hide their body (not to go to the pool, wear loose clothing, etc.) and to dress in the most discreet way possible.
Obviously, all these inappropriate behavioral patterns interfere significantly in his life affecting his State of mood, work and social relations, among other aspects.
Techniques to raise self esteem
Psychological approach to cognitive therapy is one of the most effective tools in addressing the problems of self-esteem. In
it, in order to increase and strengthen their self-esteem, are taught
to the patient to think in a more constructive way and realistic with
respect to itself, helping to eliminate the constant self-criticism
which limited him when faced with different events in his life.
In the majority of cases, this type of therapy is combined with packages of treatments that help the patient to eliminate some deficits that can be found at the base of your low self-esteem. For example, through training in social skills that help to improve the quantity and quality of social relationships.
Low self-esteem has negative consequences on our emotions. Sometimes, low self-esteem acts interacting with other factors, facilitated the development of a specific emotional pathology (depression, phobias...). In this case, in addition to the low self-esteem will have to treat the specific pathological problem that, depending on its features, may require drug treatment.
Phrases to affirm self-esteem
These are some of the phrases and tips, taken from the book (Ed. Zenith) full trust, to help you build a high self-esteem:
• Possess our lives: we feel responsible.
• To know that we are beings of unique and unrepeatable: stop comparing us.
• Recognize our talents.
• Identify our areas for improvement.
• Follow us: keep the good and discard the inappropriate.
• Invent something new to fill the discarded.
• Treat us with love, always.
Finally, we leave you a reflection of Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, author of the little Prince: "is much more difficult to judge himself than others. If you can judge yourself well, you're a true Sage."
Self-esteem in adolescence
They are increasingly aware of the important people who are appropriate levels of self-esteem for their emotional well-being. The effectiveness of programmes of prevention of problems of self-esteem has promoted this idea. These programs are based on the idea there is to wait for the problem, but to develop self-esteem from before. So
much so, that every time there are more schools that include these
programs among its activities fostering the development of infantile
self-esteem. From them, both children and adults,
although in a different way, you learn to develop a positive internal
dialogue, to love oneself and to the challenges as a challenge and not a
constant stressor that we just never solve.
And is that adolescence, self esteem is shown as a basic value, since it is at this stage when we develop our identity. We began to think about what we are, in what they think the rest of us and our possibilities and path in life. All of this has much to do with self-esteem.
If you get to forge a self-esteem high during adolescence, possible steps giving that person in your life to be more firm and insurance, with greater chances of success. Moreover, a high self-esteem will help the teenager who possesses it to rely more on its strengths and possibilities, that affects their studies: a young man with low self-esteem may have worse outcomes in classes and exams, since it relies less on itself and thinks that what striving if their work will not come to fruition. Instead, a boy with a healthy self-esteem is confronted with more force and spirit to the challenges and difficulties, is more independent, since her personality is stronger and not frightened you social relations, and has a greater sense of responsibility and respect for others.
Friends, teachers, family and even the media have much to do in the formation of the self-esteem, which is higher or lower. Therefore, it should be that, notably parents, the most influential in the child at this age, talk to you and treat you with respect, letting them express their opinion, and having patience and understanding when they make mistake, without falling into the insult, disqualification or shouting at them in front of other people. But eye, sobreprotegerles can also be counterproductive in this sense. As well as having too many expectations on them or too few.