How to deal with an affair | Diseases and conditions.

How to deal with an affair

Cheating is a very subject in films and literature as a reflection of life, while resist the temptation of desire in couple, is not always easy.
As we will only discuss this issue in its general aspect, it should be noted that each case is particular and specific, nuanced as life itself and love stories, which are unique and unrepeatable.
So, whether you are who has committed an infidelity, as if is your partner that has done so, should know that a unique way to react to this situation because there are too many there is factors that need to be taken into account. However, some tips can help you deal with an affair without losing self-esteem.

Why are more infidelities there now?

Currently more infidelities are produced because life has also changed. Today, people live longer, so the idea of keeping a marriage for life is also more complex than when life expectancy was lower.
In addition, a few decades ago women were at home taking care of the children and taking charge of the home. Now, however, women also reconcile work and family. Therefore, both men and women have many more opportunities to meet new people to feel a possible attraction despite being in a couple. The bigger the social core of a person, more likely has to meet someone that is attractive to you.
"An affair can break completely a couple or, on the contrary, be proof that ultimately strengthens the relationship"
However, the attraction is not synonymous with an infidelity. It is possible to feel attraction to someone, and be aware of this, but do not let history go to more. The attraction is something very physical, therefore, if there is no infatuation of through, it is easier to resist the temptation and mark distances with that person. In fact, this is a practical solution before any deeper feelings.
On the other hand, it should be made clear that values of each person are different, and need to understand that the pyramid of personal love, fidelity does not always is as fundamental criterion.
There are people who put other values to fidelity. Perhaps for this reason have emerged new forms of relationship as polyamory and open relations. Similarly, there are people who have a double life.

Causes of an infidelity

There are many causes that can favor that I will commit an infidelity, since it's a behavior that depends on numerous factors including the individual characteristics of each person and their environment, opportunities to meet new people that feel attracted, its commitment to partner, etc., but are reasons that most frequently are behind an infidelity :
• First, there are experts that clarify that when an affair, it is a symptom that the couple's relationship was already broken previously. I.e., from this perspective, there is no one able to break a relationship that has no cracks.
• Infidelity also occurs because the person falls for someone who is not your partner or, at least, starts to have feelings that generate confusion.
• Some people have an adventure to recover old emotions and feel again young and press.
• Sex addiction is a real problem that should be treated when you have. A person with these characteristics, is unfaithful by pure trend.
• The curiosity and temptation that produces the taste of the forbidden, the adrenaline of going beyond the rules, is also a source of attraction for those who enjoy the risk.
• The eternal seducer, remains it precisely because he likes music; for this reason, it is difficult to be only close to a relationship. A seductive it costs only commit to one person.
• Sometimes, infidelity occurs because the person wants to search outside your relationship something that is inside. In such a case, at least in the cases of broken couples who remain in common by pure social Convention.

What to do when you are a victim of an affair

• If you are the victim of an infidelity, first is important that you do not compare with anyone more, nor blame you for what happened. Remember that the responsibility is clearly from the other person. Don't let this strike affecting your self-esteem. To do this, it is important that you try yourself with love, and give you love through positive inner dialogue.
• Knowledge of an infidelity makes that persons who have been victims of a situation observed throughout its history of love in a new light. It is best that you stop this analysis and to centres in the present and in the future.
• Follow your routine and your occupations, avoid being all day hanging around the same theme. Surround yourself with trusted friends and listen to your heart because, in the end, the truth of what you want to find in your interior. For many tips that you listen, remember that you are those who have the power to decide what's good for you.

Must you forgive an infidelity?

• Forgive an infidelity is a very personal issue, because each person decides what is right for her and her life. However, it is true that while when you think from a hypothetical situation, the majority of people claim that they would break their relationship if your partner were they unfaithful, when this fact occurs in a real way, his reaction changed, and doubts them then on what to do.
• The love of so many years, coexistence, dreams fulfilled and happy moments, also weighed in the balance. For this reason, it is essential to take stock and give time to time, not to shoot it all overboard in the first moments of anger and astonishment.
• Overcome an infidelity is not easy, but it is possible with mutual trust, great communication, and without leaving the environment - family, friends, well known people - think and influence in a negative way on the decision of the couple.
• Forgive an infidelity is done in the strict sense of the word, i.e. making really clean slate. Because no one can say that you forgive an infidelity if thereafter you will be controlling your partner in every step that gives. If you do so, will be the jealousy and the burden that kill the relationship.
• Never do before an infidelity is to pay to the other with the same currency. It is important that each person values itself. On the other hand, neither should be as if not nothing had happened, ignoring the situation because, when emotions are repressed, they explode at some point.
• When a person suffers an infidelity tends to feel so much anger and rage so much that you need to talk about what happened. However, it is important to bet on the discretion and talk only about with people who know how to treat it confidentially. Otherwise, if you talk to frivolous people, the consequences may be worse.
• And you'd be able to forgive an infidelity? Find out with the test that will take you the link.

Must you confess an affair?

• Infidelity, in essence, is surrounded by much secrecy and a great mystery. In fact, most of the people who have been infidels, kept this issue in the intimacy and not confess it to anyone. Although there is always the risk of being discovered.
• It should be remembered that there are private detectives working in this field of action. On the other hand, given that every time we have more forms of communication available, there are also more options to catch the infidel inadvertently. In fact, many infidelities are discovered by looking at the mobile phone of the person who is being unfaithful and find evidence of 'relations'.
• But, in addition, in our days arises a new form of infidelity: the virtual. It is possible to meet people via the Internet, using the computer from home. In these cases, should bear in mind that contacts through the network are very susceptible to be idealized and generate fantasies that do not correspond with reality.
• You are you who must decide freely if you want to confess or not an affair. It is important that you act always in a way that you feel good with you, because you can just as well be well in couple.
• For example, there are people who feel badly about themselves after infidelity and suffering so many regrets, that discomfort sour them every day.
• In this case, is fundamental to count it as a relief to be able to assume the consequences of the acts, and offer the couple the opportunity to forgive, or that do not. But also you can talk about with someone outside the history so that he may give you his opinion in an objective way. Discuss the issue with someone you trust, will relieve your pain.
• In case of committing an infidelity and have the full assurance that that will not happen, can then opt not to count it if you think that the fact of knowing the truth is not going to contribute something positive to your partner.
• On the other hand, can make thousand questions that so far they did not know him, and have more distrust towards you, because it will hesitate of if you are telling you all really or is there something that you keep for you. But it is clear that neither can be expected everything to be ideal after an infidelity, i.e., it is important to have empathy and understanding the emotional needs of the other. Wounds take time to heal itself by both parties.

How to stop being unfaithful

• If you're cheating once again, it is important that you assume that you have a problem. Just starting then you can move forward. To change your behavior and stop being unfaithful, it is essential that you go to a specialist in order to therapy and find out the causes of your attitude.
• Changes the concept of guilt by the responsibility. The guilt haunts you, on the other hand, responsibility makes you owner of your actions and gives you the freedom of being able to act in a different way in the future.
• On the other hand, should be made clear that the life partner is not made for everyone. Each person has to choose his path. You have a relationship not only implies enjoyment but also ability to waiver, respect for the other, firmly on the feelings and loyalty.
• Finally, should clarify that while from a cultural point of view always infidelity has partnered with men, infidelity is actually an act that affects men and women indiscriminately because the weaknesses are human.

Published for educational purposes
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