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Jealousy before the arrival of a new sibling

The arrival of a new baby in the home is a source of pleasure and joy that will involve many changes in family organization in general. New times, new routines, changes in times that are dedicated to each of the tasks... Although positive, this stress is mitigated by the affection felt by the members of the family by small that waiting time. But, does everyone expect it? Perhaps the King of the House, his brother, not feel so excited before your arrival...
Obviously, the jealousy and envy of the firstborn are the main reasons of concern to parents before the arrival of a new baby. In a way, it can be considered normal for a child to show jealousy before the arrival of the new baby brother.
This event can bring about changes in their behavior, which are usually temporary and are located in origin. For example, you can show more disobedient than usual, refusing to be separated from their parents (especially the mother) opposed to go to school or other places where their parents don't go with him and to stay with his brother, or seek care and love in a more pronounced way (e.g. crying more often). If no is given excessive importance to this kind of behaviour and handled in an appropriate manner, eventually phased out spontaneously.
For this reason, it is important that, as a normal emotional reaction that is, you have in account that in any case necessary to patologizar this type of reactions in children. Jealousy before the arrival of their new brother will help you to more easily accept the intrusion of the new little member of the family. In this regard, it is important that in any case you punish the jealousy of the small and associated behaviours. When these appear you must extinguish them (ignoring them as far as possible) and reinforce or reward those desirable behaviors (e.g. speak well of her little brother, take care of him, do not get angry if you have to spend time with him, etc).

Sibling rivalry: When should I worry?

Jealousy, emotional instability, fears, calls attention, which at first may be normal before the arrival of their new baby brother, can become pathological if they persist, giving rise to emotions more intense and maintained over time. The more complex and disruptive of them all is the rivalry that your child can generate before their new baby brother. This fact is called the fraternal rivalry and, when not addressed in an adequate manner, can give rise to changes in the character of the child, or foster some envy, selfishness, or land-grabbing personality problems.
Catch it early is the first step to eliminate it. So for example, a child who suffers fraternal rivalry displays any of the following signals:
• Internal signals: self-esteem and child safety has been decreased. Feel guilty because their parents "now does not want him" or spend more time on his brother. These signals are difficult to detect because the small rarely is able to verbalize them. For this reason, it is important to take into account the external manifestations which can be the result of this feeling.
• External signals: constant cries, hostility, tantrums, hit their brother or ignore him, etc.

Tips to avoid problems before the arrival of the new baby brother

The best way to resolve any problems or jealousy before the arrival of the new baby brother is trying to avoid them. For this reason, we give you a few tips:
• Involve you your son of the arrival of his new baby brother from the pregnancy (e.g. teach the ultrasound).
• Help you to express their feelings about the new baby brother (ask him to speak to your gut and say what you feel).
• Do not make significant changes during this period and, if necessary, make them, that is before the arrival of the baby (and try to not agree when he starts kindergarten or school).
• Organise the care and attention they will receive while you are in the hospital. Explain to him what will happen, who will be responsible for caring for him, etc. During your absence, it is preferable to be someone close to the child who moves into your home to take care of him.
• Encourage that collaborate on baby care, adjusting such care to their age.
• Increases the tokens of affection: remember that human beings rivalizamos when they are scarce resources. For this reason, never lacking affection at home.
• Book an exclusive time for it and tries not to change their habits.
• Help you to see the beauty of the experience of having a brother to share games and experiences (e.g. buy games for two that before not could only play, reinforce you behaviors to share with his brother...).
• If yet jealousy persist is convenient to let you express them openly, and joke with the small about his jealousy, making you aware of them and telling him that we understand him.

How to deal with jealousy before the arrival of a baby

If problems arise, these are some tips on how to deal with the jealousy of your child before the arrival of a new baby brother at home:
• No need to punish him, shows your disapproval before signs of jealousy or rivalry towards his brother. It should be clear that you are not going to tolerate that behavior.
• Do not you hobbies your behavior, ask him if he has given account of that change and why make it. Values awareness and explanation for the smallest of his change of behavior.
• For many things you have to do attempts to follow in his day to day; participates in their games, accompany him to bed, eat with him...
• Do not force you to love your brother. The affection will develop slowly when you become involved in the relationship with the other person. The same applies to your son with his brother; Let go know little by little and be the one who develops affection towards the baby at your own pace.
• Finally, keep in mind that if jealousy or rivalry prevent keep relationship quiet and suitable between children, it is advisable to seek the help of a specialist in order to prevent problems in the development of social skills, deficits in emotional control, shyness and low self-esteem.
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