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Empathy, quality that helps us to understand others
Empathy is a capability that helps
us to understand the feelings of others, also facilitating the
understanding of the reasons for his behavior, and which thus allows
prevent major conflicts. However, many people have exceedingly low levels (in pathological cases can become non-existent) this ability.
The word empathy is derived from the Greek term Emphateia (feeling inside affection), but it won't be until the end of the 18th century, when, from the German term Einfulung (sit inside), becomes a true etymological approximation to what today we understand as empathy.
Told Gandhi that "three-quarters of the miseries and bad understood in the world would end if people were put in the shoes of his adversaries and understood their point of view". In a harmonious and metaphorical way, Gandhi exemplified with this phrase that refers to empathy. From the point of view of relationships, empathy is the ability to "put in the place of another" and "let them know". This last component is really key, is so important to understand emotion or motives of the other, such as collecting them, know how to return them.
Since it is advocated by the existence of multiple types of intelligence (spatial, abstract, artistic, etc.) authors such as Gardner understand it as a "type Interpersonal intelligence". When a person lacks empathy, their behavior is selfish, because it is unable to understand the emotions and problems of others. This fact makes the assumption of norms and respect for them, as well as cause important problems to level social, labor, partner, etc.
Empathy is acquired
We are not born being empathetic, but that this
interpersonal skill is part of our proper emotional and social beginning
to develop from the early childhood development.
Basic Psychology, based on empathy resides in neurons mirror, a type of neurons that human and primates have in the brain, and allowing abstraction and imitation of the emotional States of others. This gift that makes us our biology subsequently must be combined with socializing to achieve adequate levels of empathy.
Primitive empathy, which appears already from three months of age, develops thanks to the situations of interaction with adults, facilitating the creation of privileged and intense emotional ties.
In this sense, the attitude and the emotional education of parents is essential so that a child may develop empathy. For example, a child whose feelings are ignored by his parents, who say phrases like "stop crying", "do not be so", you will learn to ignore their feelings and those of others. Similarly, a child that attends emotionally (is heard when he complains, give kisses, caresses, etc) will learn to listen to their own emotions and those of others, paving the way for the first steps in the development of empathy.
Profile of a person caring
Empathic people get great benefits from social
thanks to his ability, because they get that others feel understood,
heard, and emotionally collected.
Empathic people's profile is characterized by:
• Have a high social sensitivity: them concerned about the problems of others, the feelings of the other, etc.
• Capture non-verbal communication of others: can read in gestures, in the tone of voice, etc. the emotional States of others.
• Know give social feedback: are able to show to others that have captured their feelings.
• Be respectful: know acceptable feelings and behaviors of others regardless of it not adopt them.
• Like to listen (not hear), and they are good talkers.
• Respect or understand the reasons for the behavior of others.
How to develop empathy
As the rest of social skills, empathy can also be
purchased throughout life (with the exception of individuals who have
pathologies that impede the development of the same).
The best practice would be that you acudieras a psychotherapist that helped you to get it after rating with skills accounts and what you need to purchase. But while you decide to request the assistance of a specialist, you can go to training you yourself following these tips to develop empathy:
• Learn how to listen to what others say without words: learn to interpret non-verbal communication of others is a fundamental tool in understanding their emotional States. In addition to specific courses for this purpose, there are interesting manuals of self-help that will serve as a first approach.
• The technique of three columns: when faced with a conflict situation, discussion, etc., notes aside this situation (what happened), what is your opinion in this respect and what is the opinion or position of the other person. While you have it very clear, or by very angry you are, try to force you to see the conflict from the point of view of the other.
• Practice active listening: when others tell you their problems tries not to think about how you feel, therapist, or think. Instead, try to feel, Act and think like the other. To do this, ask yourself the question: "taking into account what he and his circumstances, how will feel?"
• Think "With" rather than "By" your partner: when someone is telling you their problems or concerns, tries to help you think, to give the same responses to your questions. Please use caution in giving a response of consolation or magical advice. It helps others to think and reflect.
• Learn how to collect and return the excitement to the other: to do this, there are specific formulations such as "paraphrase". Por_ejemplo, A: "I am worried about my father's disease", B (paraphrased): "I understand, you're concerned about your father's disease"). Also if you listen carefully you can avoid confrontation by helping others to see their own emotional inconsistencies. For example: "you're disappointed because you do everything to return with your partner, however, tell me that when you are with her, you feel that he treats you in a derogatory manner". Accompanies your posts always an "I understand", "I can take care of...", "I guess that in your place you think / feel...".