What is the guilt | Diseases and conditions.

The feeling of guilt

Guilt is regarded as a negative emotion that, if well nobody likes to experiment, the truth is that it is necessary for proper adaptation to our environment. Many authors agree on defining guilt as a painful affection arising from the belief or feeling of having transferred personal, social or ethical rules especially if it has harmed someone.
Guilt, therefore, arises due to a lack we have committed (or so we believe it). Its function is to make aware to the subject that has done something wrong to facilitate attempts to repair. Its origin is related to the development of moral conscience, which starts in childhood and which is influenced by our individual differences and educational guidelines.
There are people who confuse this emotion with shame, increasing its emotional discomfort, since both feelings are mixed is feedback among themselves. While guilt appears before the pain for the damage caused, shame is experienced when we perceive ourselves with the lack of a skill or ability that was presumed should have.

X-ray of guilt

To understand the guilt you must know what are its elements:
• Act causally, real or imaginary.
• Perception and negative self-assessment of the Act by the subject, bad conscience.
• Negative emotion derived from the guilt, remorse.
The combination of these elements can give rise to two types of fault:
• Guilt healthy or manifests: appears as a result an actual damage that we have caused to someone. Their usefulness lies in helping us to respect the rules and not harm others. Guilt works here as a punishment when we do not meet them.
• Morbid guilt: there has been no objective need to justify that feeling. Unlike the former, this type of guilt is destructive and does not help us to adapt to the environment. When the fault does not work well (not meets its Adaptive function) can occur from excessive (related psychopathological disturbances such as depression) or default (associated with high levels of perfectionism).

RCT and culpabilizadores

Guilt is a powerful weapon, because it can be used to exert power and others get what they want. Culpabilizadoras people are trying to make us believe that our guilt is justified, and thus take advantage of us. This is called emotional blackmail: "don't do what is expected of you", "I don't know how you have been able of...", "If you have... would not have occurred", etc. From the induction of guilt they seek our submission or the achievement of its objectives. For this reason, we must avoid this persons profile.

Portrait of a culpabilizador

Some of the features of culpabilizadoras persons are:
• Is almost always complaining about.
• Tends to be good conversationalist and charming (optional).
• In general, tends to be appreciated, never to blame if things are distorted.
• Makes you believe that because is yours if things don't go well.
• Makes you believe that your happiness is in your hands.
• Do not you accused directly, but in a twisted and subtle way.
• You feel guilty in his presence, you have the impression of doing things wrong and try to change to give you satisfaction.

Consequences of the RCT

People who tend to autoculpabilizarse often feel a major emotional upset, contempt for himself, devaluation, etc. These feelings are associated with a high level of self-reliance, perfectionism, obsessiveness, and sadness, in addition to a very low level of self-esteem.
The RCT deceives us making us feel that we have not been able to resolve something that we thought control, generating frustration and restlessness. On the other hand, the RCT is dangerous in the sense that if we charge us with all the blame, we liberate others from yours and incapacitamos them so they can learn to repair errors or not to return them to commit.

Prevention: what to do to not feel guilty

Some people deny the guilt through strategies as denial of the conduct, the neglect of the fact, the minimization of damage, justification or attribution to external factors. However, these strategies are not adequate, since they are characteristic of people who are unaware of the damage they have caused or are, but do not want to see it and camouflage it to not feel bad about themselves.
Healthy guilt should not prevent it, but the morbid guilt. So remember that each choose how you are feeling and how you feel another person finally depends on it. Therefore, feeling guilty is a choice. This does not relieve you of your responsibility, but changes the negative verbalizations by "I'm wrong..., now I will try to fix it and I'll try not to do it again". These autoafirmaciones will make us feel better and help us to repair the damage.
It is also important that we assume that we cannot control everything that happens to our around and blame must be dealt in an equitable manner, not only in order to relieve us of the same weight, but to give the opportunity to others to repair his share of blame and avoid to commit such action.

Intervention: how to stop feeling guilty

• Identifies the behavior and guilt: when the blame is not identified creates a diffuse malaise that we were not right to express. Ask yourself why you feel bad and what will help you to be better.
• Expressed verbal and emotional level your repentance to persons affected or involved: let them know that you feel guilty and the feelings associated with this discomfort.
• Requested forgiveness: not enough to say that you feel guilty. Many times people need to ask them for forgiveness.
• Express your intention to carry out repairing damage behavior as well as the intention that will not be repeated. In addition to requesting the pardon the other person must be clear that it will not repeat the damage.
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